Making Amends
by Traveling Buddha
Summary: Ziva needs to make some amends before she can begin the rest of her life. Pls RnR. Hoping to do more NCIS after this.


Now you know I don't own them. Just borrowing a little.

Making Amends 

"I thought I would find you here." The tall grey haired man said as he walked up the well worn and familiar path. The shadowed figure nods its head stiffening as it feels the man's presence getting closer. "You always come here when something is bothering you." He says moving to stand next to the figure. "You know my dear you should never be this predictable. It poses far too much of a risk."

"Abba please." the figure says running a hand over the star around its neck.

"That looks as good on you as it did on your mother. You know I gave it to her the day we married."

"I know. She told me when she gave it to me. It was the day before she died." The figure says with slight hint of anger. "I'm sorry I was not there for you all, but there was an important..."

"There is something always far more important. There was something important when I and Tali was born, and when I tried to come to you about Ari." the figure says turning towards its father with a glare that could burn.

"Ziva, you know those time were not on purpose."

"It was the job. I know. It has always been about Mossad. You've taught me that from the beginning. But tell me this Abba why was it so damned important. You created us in your image. You never let us become ourselves. You trained us to kill." Ziva yells at her father causing a few birds to fly away from the tree above their heads.

"Ziva I was trying to protect you. Give you a better life. Allow you to give your children a better life." He says gesturing to where her hands lay across her stomach.

"Better. I still have nightmares of Somalia. I wake up screaming, and I nearly once killed my husband."

"Now that wouldn't be such a bad thing," Eli mumbles to himself, while earning a glare from his daughter.

"You know since we've been married, and with recently starting our family I've come to realize there is a lot in which I need to make amends with. Mainly you Abba, You've always taught me to keep my emotions withheld, and to be brutally honest. To be able to do this I am sorry to say I can no longer hold back my feelings. I know you've always wondered about what happened between, and I need to tell you it began the day you left me at our summer home and I watched the life drain from Ima. You never knew, but during her last two days of her life she confessed everything. How you were forced to marry each other as a way for Sabbah (Grandfather) to ensure an heir to the director's seat. He was afraid all his work would go to waste, if you were not there. Then when I was born, that is when you finally saw me; you were disappointed that I was not a boy. You knew that you finally had to accept Ari as your son. Then when Ari defied you by going to medical school you chose to train me. Ima confessed to me that it saddened her to see me give up my childhood. She knew what was ahead for me, and made me promise her that I would always be true to myself. I must say I was never true until I finally found my love. As I stand here in front of her I can't help but feel that I disappointed her. I became everything she hated. I thought by doing that I could gain your love, but it seems once Ari accepted your will, anything I did was never good enough. Maybe it was though since you seem to be treating me differently since Ari's death." Ziva takes a deep breath processing her thoughts.

"Ziva I never stopped loving you. You've always been on my mind and in my heart. Yes what your mother said was true I was disappointed when you were born that you were not a boy. Then you changed that, you have a tendency to do that. I don't know if you remember this, but when you were three you were so sick. Your mother and I spent every day with you in the hospital. By your third day the doctors told us that you were not going to make it. I told them that they were wrong. I said my daughter was a fighter. She would never give up without a fight. If she fought me over ballet classes when she was one and a half, then she would fight everyone and everything for her life. Two days later the doctors were amazed to see you back to the lively child you were." Eli smiles at the memory of his young daughter sitting on his lap laughing, no signs left of the dreaded disease that nearly took her life. "From that moment I knew you were different. You were determined to never let anything or one stand in your way. I regret that I was never the father I should have been. My father taught me that to show love meant weakness, and I did not want my little girl to be weak. I knew you could be anything, and I wanted to do everything to help you get there. That night. That night that Tali died was the night I saw it in your eyes your decision to join Mossad. I must confess I kept myself from seeing your true reason, but I was determined to push you into being the best. I knew if I did then I would never see that pain in your eyes again. I love you Ziva, I never wanted you to suffer." Eli watches as the tears fall from her eyes onto the grave below them.

"I always suffered. I live with the image of Tali's and Ari's lifeless faces every day. And the day you began my training, I felt that I no longer had you as my father. You were my boss, but no longer were you my father. I lost you with my mother the day we buried her here." She watches his face from the corner of her eye, show flashes of regret. I know you knew about what happened with Ari. I could never hide anything with you. It was your wish that I would kill him was it not. You did not just make me his control officer because I was his sister. You knew if I needed to I would kill him." She turns to him forcing her father to look deep within her. "How could you let me do that? How could you let me kill my own brother? I loved him, he cared about me. You told me that you were proud of me. I had done my job and gained the trust of Gibbs. As I sat in your office I had to wonder whatever happened to my father. That same father who came into my room that night that Tali was killed after he heard me crying and held me until morning. I want that father back. Abba I want to make amends. I want to be your daughter; do you want to be my father again?" Ziva asks allowing her tears to flow freely.

"Oh my Zivaleh I always want to be your father. Please forgive me," Eli whispers into her ear as he pulls her into a hug. "Ani ohev otach." (I love you). 


End file.
